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Friday, February 01, 2008 @ 2:44:00 PM I reached home at 1.50 pm today. The earliest in my entire jc life. Being home alone sucks, I knew I lost that ability to stay sane alone ages ago. My rooms smells funny, I don't know why. It smells like the past and old memories. Hello room, it's time to move on and quit smelling like that. Having my character sucks, I create unnecessary trouble for myself. Quotes bestie, "you're too hopeful about what's around you, relationships, class etc, but on the flipside you're a pessimist when it comes to your future." see what I mean by she knows everything when I don't need to explain anything at all. NJ promised too much hope in the beginning, it promised a brilliant jc life, a class to die for, and the right to be a little arrogant because you know you're entitled to it. In the end it collapsed bit by bit, leaving only some debris for you to weep over. Friends promised too much, everything from friends forever scribbled over primary school autograph books to the meaningless friendships built solely on the foundations of seeking company. PAE s18 faded away a long time ago, but we still refuse to accept that. It promised too much, so much that I decided to stay put in NJ when clearly knowing only a miserly 10+ people could stay. It promised friends who'll always be there, but many coulnd't even stand the test of time and distance. TG promised company that could make most people green with envy, but how ironic it is when people start fading away because there are better opportunities else where. And the worst part is, we became complete strangers after that. How much is friendship really? It sounds quite cheap don't you think. Love, needless to say, promised even more beautiful things, but in the end it all returned to nothingness, a void that can't be filled and the feeling of chill running right through your heart on a hot sunny day. You will learn that breathing will become harder and harder, because it's too painful to even do that. Because I was too hopeful over everything. That's why, it hurts so much now. You said I was too naive for my own good, I guess you're right. I don't know how many unrelated/ purely curious/ gossipy eyes are reading all these stuff now, but it doesn't really matter anymore. To those who sincerely tried to make things better for me, I thank you for being there, for bearing with my lousy face and even lousier mood. & to those who are purely interested because you're too gossipy for your own good, take what you want and do whatever you want with it, I've long ceased to care. Perhaps it's time to remain silent over some things, and swallow your own bitterness. I see no point in telling you about those stuff anymore. 在你的身后时间把过去都带走 时间把镜头带走不假思索回忆不放手 好想再跟你牵着手牵着曾有过的温柔 哭过以后眼泪还是不停的流 The world may mean nuts to you, but you may mean the world to someone else. Something meaningful from hongjie's blog, when he isn't talking about computer games etc. |