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Saturday, June 16, 2007 @ 7:53:00 PM Musing of the day: sleep is an interesting thing, it makes you forget the world around you temporarily and exit into a wholely private dimension. Sometimes I lie in bed, pretending to be asleep, just so I don’t have to face the reality. I have come to a conclusion that I’m a hopeless romantic and hedonist with pride. Henceforth I don’t belong to planet earth. I should have been born a Martian or a cow for that matter (not that cows are really romantic pertaining to that issue). Point is, was never cut out for a thing called human, much less a human around other possibly holier-than-thou and down to earth fellow species. It didn’t take me long to realize I have issues with myself and the surroundings in general. Not once was I being told my thought were airy-fairy, building sandcastles in the air, total poppycock coming from an obscured and puerile mind. Keep those away, if you want to fit in, learn to grow up and sprout profound sensible logics, so people will respect you. Master the law of the jungle : do to others, or get done. Ha, welcome to the real world, you’ve been warned. So I’m more intuitive than sensing, but what’s wrong with that. So I’m too dreamy and living in my own bubblegum world sugared by saccharine and all things sweet, but so? And even if I come across to you as unrealistic, so what? Good gracious and congratulations, you’ve just met an entirely different specie from yourself, isn’t that nice, we should all celebrate diversity. Maybe now I know why I can never play chess, whether Chinese chess or international chess, because I was never wired to have the ability to scheme and get ahead of others. Or more point blank, I’m a laggard that those, not that I see it as a pity, really. I’m once upon a time contended with myself, happily being different because I was too young to make anyone realize my difference anyway. Sad how things change when you least expect them to, or having made a conscious effort, just to see it slipping away eventually. Pugnacity may cut it judging on how I’m talking now, but no, I’m tired from those. This is the kind of drunken stupor you get when you’re down, down, right down where there’s nothing left to fall and nothing to cushion the heart-led fell because it all happened too fast. And, you’re left with nothing, nothing at all. I have sworn never to post lovingly sick or weepy details of anything that has to do with affairs of the heart, at least I try to do it with discretion, because it’s just too common hackneyed for it’s own good, and I will stick to it, just keeping the last of my fading away principles. But I guess, the ring isn’t mine to keep, so is your heart. 也发现，自己很佩服勇敢的女生。 佩服那些肯抛下面子，不怕任何困难的女生。 那些愿意追求幸福的女生。 那些为爱付出，不求回报的女生。 因为自己总觉得自己不能跟他们相提并论。 因为知道自己就是那种拉不下脸跟男生表白的女生。 记得有一幕，女主角主动亲吻了男主角。却被拒绝了。 看了我的心都痛。并不是为女主角被拒绝而难过。 只是为女主角感到委屈。她需要多大的勇气啊，才能走到爱的人的面前。 爱情需要勇气. taken from jayen's blog. but sometimes, all you get for being brave, is more heartaches. |